JST Black Box

THIS PLUGIN IS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE (but it’s also a real plugin which makes the joke even better).

Introducing JST Black Box by Joey Sturgis Tones - the ultimate mixing plugin that doesn’t actually do anything!

Are you tired of dealing with clients who don’t know the first thing about music production, but insist on making changes to your mix? With JST Black Box, you can finally put an end to those frustrating conversations once and for all.

This sleek and stylish plugin is designed to look like it’s doing some crazy stuff to your mix, but in reality, it doesn’t actually change anything. With nine different modules, each with different names like “Deep End” and “Master Blaster”, you can turn them to your heart’s content without actually altering the mix in any significant way. I mean, it looks expensive, and that’s kinda all you need to make it believable!

The Sound Of Nothing!

But why would you want a plugin that doesn’t actually do anything? The answer is simple - JST Black Box is the perfect tool for impressing your clients and making them feel like they’re getting their money’s worth. Clients always have annoying mix revisions, but we all know our mix is already perfect. By turning some knobs and fiddling around with the controls, you can make it look like you’re making changes to the mix, when in reality, nothing is really happening. This way, your clients will think you’re making it better, you keep your already perfect mix, and then you can focus on delivering the final product without the hassle of endless revisions.

And the best part? JST Black Box is so stylish and impressive-looking that your clients will never know the difference. They’ll be too busy admiring the fancy graphics and impressive-looking controls to notice that nothing is actually changing.

So why struggle with difficult clients when you can simply impress them with JST Black Box? Order your copy today and take control of your mixing sessions like never before.

The 'Processors'

The included “processing modules” don’t actually do anything, but we’ve given them cool names and some nifty icons so it looks like they do. Here’s what you can tell your clients they do in case they ask:

• “Punch it up” - pretends to turn up the perceived loudness of the mix without actually changing the levels.
• “Smooth operator” - seems like it adds a fake sense of smoothness to the mix without actually changing the EQ or compression.
• “Sparkle shine” - appears to add a fake sense of brightness and air to the mix without actually changing the high-end EQ.
• “Deep end” - pretends to control the low-end and provide a fake sense of bass depth to the mix without actually changing the low-end EQ or compression.
• “Stereo spreader” - it doesn’t do anything, it just has a cool name.
• “Vocal enhancer” - This one is for the vocalists, it’ll make them feel more important, as if they don’t already.
• “Acoustic simulator” - This one pretends to add a fake sense of natural room sound to the mix without actually adding any reverb or delay.
• “Guitar hero” - Give that sense of guitar power to the mix without actually changing the levels or distortion.
• “Master blaster” - adds a fake sense of mastering polish to the mix without actually changing the levels, EQ, or compression on the master bus.

It's Open Source!

While most developers want to keep their trade secrets and never share their source code, JST Black Box’s source is worth sharing considering the number of hours we will be saving you with this amazing break-through! We’ve decided to provide that source code for all to see below:

Tips for using the plugin

1. Try to move knobs and make changes during parts of the song where the song changes - this helps hide the fact that the plugin isn’t actually making any changes.
2. Whenever you use the plugin, act like you’re trying to hide it. It adds more mystique and mystery for the client which will help them become more intrigued and believe it’s real.
3. Never ever tell your clients where to get the plugin - they’ll eventually figure out it’s all a hoax. If they ask, just tell them it’s been discontinued by the manufacturer because of some weird DSP licensing dispute.

What You'll Get

• Audio Plugin that does absolutely nothing!
• Perpetual User License
• Free Updates For 420 years!
• Installers for Windows and Mac
• No iLok Required